It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
