Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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