I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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