I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
