I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
