i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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