so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
