I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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