you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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