i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize