Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
