i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
