you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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