last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
