alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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