sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
