At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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