You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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