You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
