Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
