Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
