Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
