The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
