Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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