You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
