Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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