If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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