Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Pappa wants mamma naked
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
