Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
