Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
