you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's shark week go big or go home
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
