I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
