Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You are a genius and a whore.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize