Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
