I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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