planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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