pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
