you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
