ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
