We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
