How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's no shave November. This is our time.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
