you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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