Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
