People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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