I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
