I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
