everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
MIDGETS
????
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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