Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have aggressive nipples.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
