I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I'm really busy with my period
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