Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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