i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
