Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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