I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
