Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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