I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
