but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
